Gold flinched at his words, although he knew that Neal hadn’t meant them to be harsh. “I haven’t turned anyone into snails in quite some time,” he assured his son. “However… I won’t pretend that I didn’t do terrible things after I lost you. But you must believe me when I say that… it was all for you, Bae. Every waking moment for three centuries, I was searching for a way to follow you.”
Oh, he’d never forgive himself for what he’d done. He’d missed so much of Bae’s life. He could never make up for that. Gently, Gold cupped his son’s cheek in his hand, gazing at him sadly. “Oh, Bae… You’re so big now. So grown up…”
He could remember the first time he’d held Bae, his son’s first word (‘Papa,’ much to Milah’s chagrin), his first step… It seemed like only yesterday, but now, here he was… a grown man. A father. “Gods, Bae… I should have been there for you. Can you ever forgive me, son?”
“You did terrible things before you lost me, too.”
He really didn’t mean for such a harsh remark to slip past his lips, but it was out before he knew it. And in hindsight, with a situation on the mend, it was best for him to be open and honest about things; if he was going to keep things in, they were only going to fester. There was no need for that.
“Yeah, lotta time’s past.”
And this time, he kept it at that. He didn’t point out that the man had missed most of his childhood, didn’t press the fact that he had been living on the streets for a large part of his youth until the Darlings had given him a new home. He’d learned from all of that, and he wouldn’t for the world want any of that to change. After all, if he hadn’t lived the life he’d lived, he never would have met Emma. And she never would have gotten pregnant with Henry.
His father’s words cut straight through his soul. He should’ve been there for him, yes, but there wasn’t much that could change that now. He wasn’t going to let the man turn him back into a child just so he would have a second chance at being a spectator of his childhood, but they needed some time to adjust to one another now that he was a grown man. Eventually, he simply sighed and tugged his shoulders up into something akin to a shrug.
“I want to forgive you, but I’m not sure I can trust you just yet.”
(Source: magicaedestruit)
