· best of both worlds ; rumplestiltskin & neal
Gold swallowed hard, his son’s harsh words ringing in his ears. He was right, of course. Bae was always right and he always had been, even as a young child. He was addicted to his magic, and there were times when he too had to question if giving it up was even a reasonable expectation. But what Bae was asking was… impossible.
To cross that line… To lose everything. Gold couldn’t do it. He was afraid to do it. And what of Belle? Was he just to abandon her forever to this cursed town? Leave her behind, when she didn’t even know herself? If he left, she would stay that way for the rest of her life: somebody else, trapped in his Belle’s body.
The thought nearly made him sick.
“I- I don’t think you understand,” he managed, hoping that he could make Bae see reason. “Son… I was cursed before Emma came to Storybrooke. I was somebody else. If I cross that line, it won’t fix anything. I’ll be Mr. Gold, again… I won’t be the man you want. I won’t be your father.”
Gold had been nearly as bad as Rumpelstiltskin. Just as cold, just as calculating… The farthest thing in the world from the gentle spinner Bae was seeking to restore.
“Bae, I tortured myself everyday for three centuries… making sure that I remembered who it was that I was living for. Making sure that you were always there, in the front of my mind. I didn’t want to forget you, son. I kept you a room, I counted every birthday… Please, I don’t want to forget any of that.”
He didn’t add the last thought: It’s selfish of you to want to make me. He was thinking it, yes, but he knew that to say it would mean to anger his son further, and that was the last thing he wanted to do.
"So you’re saying that there’s nothing, no memory strong enough, to bring back your memory if you’d step across the town line?”
Neal shook his head once more, completely baffled by the utter lack of faith his father had in him and in the bond between them. That was how it had always been, from the moment he had been overcome with lust for the Dark One’s powers, and he wasn’t even sure if that habit would ever completely vanish.
When he made a point about not wanting to lose important memories, Neal pressed his lips together; there was hardly anything he could say to negate that. He had brushed off his father’s offer to turn him into a boy once more so they could relive his childhood for the exact same reason—he simply didn’t want to lose all the years of memories he had created, especially not the ones that included Emma and the ones from which he had learned (sometimes harsh) lessons.
Still, shooting down the idea of crossing the town line meant they still did not have a solution to their problem, and while his father merrily continued his power-hungry ways, Neal would stubbornly refuse to reconcile with him.
“What d'you plan on doing to fix this in stead? I don’t see you givin’ up your powers form one day to the next either.”
(Source: magicaedestruit)
